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This is not a cum towel

This is not a cum towel

Regular price $18.00
Regular price Sale price $18.00
Sale Sold out

A towel that is just as soft as it is sarcastic.

There was never a towel you needed as bad as this one. The perfect pair to your booty routine and a conversation piece at your next dinner party. 

What it does: Use to pat your booty dry before applying Cream Dream.

Why it's the best out there: 

  • I mean...read the title.
  • Ultra soft cotton towel in brown with pink stitching.
  • 15" x 16" towel with 4" wide stitching

Machine wash in cold water on delicate.

  • Most popular sets sell out weekly
  • Next-day shipping if ordered in 1 hour

✈️ Estimated delivery: December 15 - December 20

What kind of results can I expect?

This booty-saving formula is the real deal - we crafted it to help with those pesky breakouts, add a little oomph where it counts, and give your skin that healthy glow. Our community has been sharing their honest journey (check out their stories!), and we're proud to say this formula delivers what it promises. No magic wands here - just clean ingredients that work hard for your 🍑.

When will I see results?

Keep it consistent and give it 7-14 days to work its magic. Trust the process! ✨

How long before I need a refill?

One bottle = 1 months of booty-loving goodness when used daily.

  • Join 500,000+ satisfied customers
  • Cruelty and Harsh Chemical-Free
  • 30-Day Guarantee

Ingredients

The Results

Before and After 1
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As seen on

Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Two animated characters jumping joyfully against a sunset background.Three oranges with cartoonish faces on a light background.A black and white line drawing of a dragon with a long tail and wings.A person holds a large book titled 'Notes from Your Therapist' in front of their face.
Four silhouetted dogs sitting in a row facing forward.Sun peeking through dense forest with tall, straight trees.Ballet dancers performing on stage in dramatic lighting.A woman stands on a rocky shoreline, gazing at the ocean, under a cloudy sky.